All you need is a good rant

Redcap kindly tagged me for this great meme. Thanks mate I needed a good rant, it has been one of those weeks you know?
So here it is, in no particular order - 10 things I hate about other people.

1. Rumours.
For obvious reasons, see my post Rumour 1 I hate people who obviously have nothing better to do with their time than generate or partake in the rumour mill. It drives me absolutely mad ! If you have the time and energy to come up with absolute shit why don’t you divert that energy into something useful, like I don’t know getting a life, wankers.

2. People who talk to you like an imbecile because you haven’t done a Phd.
Hey go fuck yourselves you self indulged pricks. Just because people don’t have a Phd, Bsc, Hons, or whatever after their names doesn’t mean you have the right to talk to them as though they have only one brain cell and learnt to read only five minutes ago. So you spent half your life with your head up your or someone else’s arse in a dusty academic environment, pontificating with people who all think the same, big whoop, good for you! If that is what you’re into fan-bloody-tastic but don’t talk to me like an idiot ok?

3. People treating you like shit in shops
This is a two fold nark – firstly I friggin hate people who treat you like shit because you’ve walked into a shop with your comfy jeans and jumper on. Hey people this doesn’t mean that I want to steal from your shop and it certainly doesn’t mean that I don’t have enough money to spend in your shop so stop following me around and looking down your nose at me. Second I bloody well hate it when you go up the check out or ask for help or whatever and the sales assistant has a face like a smacked arse. Well sooooorrrrrry for interrupting your mind numbing conversation so that you can actually do your fucking job. It is known as the hospitality industry not the hostility industry people, if you don’t want to work as a sales assistant, if that is too shit a job for you why don’t you just bog off.

4. People who go to Indian/Chinese/Thai restaurants and order steak and chips.
What the hell is that all about? I swear to God, the G-man and I went out for an Indian the other week and a couple rocked up and both ordered steak and chips! What the fuck! What are you doing at an Indian restaurant if you don’t even want to eat the food there?


5. Air quotations.
Need I say more?

6. People who chastise me for not being a recycling/charity donating freak.
Oh come on for pity’s sake, do you really think you are making that much of a difference? I mean honestly the time and effort that goes into recycling is it really worth it? Ok if everyone does it then we could make a difference blah blah blah but really when you work out the amount of waste product produced by recycling factories and the chemicals actually used to break down the material the net benefit of recycling is practically nothing! Oh and don’t get me started on fucking carbon footprints. I like my cheap Easyjet or Ryanair flights to Spain and Greece and anywhere that is warm, so I get what a couple of holiday’s a year why am I being harassed for this? Honestly why aren’t we harassing people like Madonna etc, how big must their footprint be? Oh and what really gets me is all these famous people telling me that I should donate all my money to help end poverty. It is a noble cause and yes I agree with their arguments for wiping 3rd world debt … … so here’s a fucking idea why don’t they donate their loose change I am sure that could buy a small country!

7. People who ring you on their mobile and hang up when you answer.
Ooooooooooooooooooooooo this shits me. Are they that tight that they can’t even afford a phone call? I understand it is a mobile call so obviously I am not going to be on there for hours, but really what makes you think that I can afford to call you all the time?

8. People who think racist jokes are funny.
They’re not funny, they never were and they never will be so don’t get offended when I tell you that you are a racist prick.

9. Being depressed or suicidal isn’t a fashion statement.
Depression is a serious disease, it is not a sign that you are cool. I have known far too many people who have suffered from this disease and (ok I am going to say it) …. So have I and I tell you what it is far from being fucking cool, so do us all a favour and actually be happy with your life before it is all gone and you are old and wrinkly and wished that you had fun with your life.

10. People who are defined by material wealth.
Oh so you have a brand new car, big fuck off diamond engagement ring and the big house in the right area. What does it all mean in the end? If you are defined by the material possessions you own then you lead a very sad existence. Ok I am not saying that I am immune to it, of course I am not but I try not to judge people who aren’t as well off as I am and I try not to define myself by what I own. Why should I care if they bought their shoes at Tesco’s or Sainsbury’s (supermarkets) at least they give me the time of day when I speak to them and not look at me like something they scrapped off the soles of their shoes.