Merry Christmas

Hi - I would like to say a bit Thank You to everyone who has commented recently. Thanks for all your words of comfort and support, I really appreciate it. At the moment I am feeling a tad bit low, but hopefully the future is bright for Sakura Girl - ready to take on the world !!

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and I do sincerely hope you all have some banging hangovers come New Years.

Bye !

Bright side?

redundant
• adjective 1 not or no longer needed or useful; superfluous. 2 chiefly Brit. made unemployed because one’s job is superfluous to requirements.
Last Friday this is what happened to me.

I was advised that even though I am fantastic at my job, intelligent, management material etc etc that there was no longer a position for me on the West Coast. One could say that this was a massive kick in the guts, and that no matter what was said to me, after those words were uttered it was nothing but cold comfort.

Everyone keeps saying to me that I should not take it personally, that it was nothing that I have done that it is purely down to money; however that does not make me feel any better. When you are told that you are no longer needed that your position is no longer viable or necessary to the company you feel, well how should I put this … … … … like shit.

The great cogs and mechanisms of business have chewed me up and spat me out right in the middle of a shitty little town that is possibly so miserable at the moment I don’t even want to get out of bed in the mornings.

So forgive me if I am not in the most festive of moods at the moment. I am currently in my “down” mood. I have gone through a few since I was told, there is the “resigned to my own fate” mood, the “angry” mood and at the moment the “depressed, life and god hates me” mood.

The hardest thing that I had to do was call my parents and tell them the news, because I didn’t want to disappoint them. Thankfully it was me that was crying on the phone and not them, they took it surprisingly well – however there was the “you should come back to Australia, now there are so many jobs here for you” which I am sure there are. The G-man and I would have no problems getting work back home – we have a plan don’t worry and we are working on it. It’s all a bit hush hush at the moment but it does include taking over the world so watch this space.

I suppose it isn’t all that bad, I now have ample time to pursue my singing career, enter on to the X-Factor or Big Brother become a Z-list star by doing absolutely nothing and walk around with a poodle in my over-sized Louis Vuitton handbag. Now that sounds like a brilliant plan don’t you think?

OR and I know it isn’t half as glamorous but, I could focus on renovating our apartment in order to move on to phase 2 of get the fuck out of here (oh did I say that out loud?).

The other shit thing about it is that I will no longer have access to the internet on such a regular basis, i.e all the time! I will have to venture to the library and pray to god that I don’t get busted looking at boobies which happen to always appear on Phishez blog or read about lurid antics on Steph’s blog. So if I don’t comment at much on your blog it isn’t because I don’t love them anymore, it is probably because the crazy librarian has banned me for looking at porn! I tell ya! It is a crazy mixed up world.

So seeing as it is nearly lunch … … no hang on it is lunch time, I better change out of my pyjamas and do something constructive.

See you later peeps!

Conversations of a Boss Kind

Last week the G-man was sent up to Orkney for work. Begrudgingly the G-man packed his bags and drove 7 hours to nearly the arse end of Scotland, nearly the arse end but close enough. Having suffered from the worst bout of food poisoning only a couple of weeks ago, the G-man was not impressed at this prospect, however it seems one conversation between himself and his boss made it kind of worthwhile (to me anyway. It was hilarious, but maybe that was because I was drunk when the G-man told me what had transpired)…

Bring bring, bring bring

G-man: Boss, what can I do for you?

Boss: Oh hi G-man, umm I was just wondering? Umm, where are you because I was worried that I haven’t seen you around and thought you might be ill again.

G-man: perplexed Ummm I’m in Ornkey Boss? You know, you sent me here?

Boss: Oh right! Oh good that’s great.

G-man: Riiiight

Long pause

Boss: So you’re going to make it back for Saturday right because you don’t want to miss York’s and Jordy’s party.

G-man: Noooo, I’ll be back

Boss: Good, that’s great.

G-man: Riiiight

Boss: So, this 25th wedding anniversary thing, umm what’s that mean?

G-man: What?

Boss: Well what are you meant to get them as a present, like a mixer or microwave or something?

G-man: It’s a silver wedding anniversary so you’re meant to get them something silver but I don’t think it really matters they’re just having a party. I don’t think they’re gonna need a mixer, I think they might already have that.

Boss: Oh right. Ok, great.

Long pause

Boss: So …. G-man what are you wearing?

G-man: stunned silence What? Now? Umm I don’t think that’s appropriate do you?

Boss: stunned silence What? Silence again No! I mean for Saturday night are you wearing a suit?

Now if that had of been me, I would have said something like this…

Right now? Well I’m glad you asked. I’m wearing suspenders and a bustier, and a whip but you don’t count that as clothing and I am not sure about the lard that is smeared all over my body.

G-man: You know me Boss, I didn’t even wear a tie to my own wedding so a suit is out of the question.

Boss: Oh good ! Ok well I’ll see you later.

G-man: Right, bye.

The Winds of Change

Well done Ruddsy you've done well.

I got a phone call at 7:30am on Saturday morning from my parentals in Australia to let me know the good news, apparently people in their street were letting off fireworks ! I thought that was a bit extravagant don't you? Oh well any excuse for a piss up.

On another note I have been tagged by the ianandan expedition with a lovely little '8 things' meme so here we go...

8 things I am passionate about:

good food
writing
equality
my husband
music
singing (badly mind you)
art
family

8 things I want to do before I die:

snowboard
have children
learn more languages
learn to paint
move back to Australia
run a half marathon
travel more
find peace

8 things I say often:

"no way!"
"Oh Aye" - (slap me right now)
"Bastardi"
"errors"
"have you seen where I put ....."
"I don't understand"
"this place is chav central"
"beer? yes please"

8 books I have recently read:

Going Postal - Terry Pratchett
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - JK Rowling
Monstrous Regiment - Terry Pratchett
Night Watch - Terry Pratchett
Guards Guards - Terry Pratchett
Ok I think you are getting the picture now aren't you??

8 songs I could listen to over and over:

Best of You - Foo Fighters
Gli ostacali del cuore - Elisa
If you wear that velvet dress - U2
Don't Dream its over - Crowded House
Blue Sky Mining - Midnight Oil
I Choose You - Bindi Blatcher
Dancefloor - Stylophonics
One More Time - Daft Punk

8 things that attract me to my friends:

crazy
they make me laugh
they love a good rant
keep me grounded
smart
teach me things
they offer me support
they accept me

Little Johnny Howard

The G-man and I got our ballot papers in the mail on Friday !! Yehaaaaaaaaaaa and we took great pride in putting Little Johnny Howard where he belongs. We proudly sealed our votes and posted them straight back the Australian High Commission as soon as possible.

You're going down Johnny Tennis Shoes You're Going Down !

On another note, what is with the strange parties now? I was seriously tempted to vote for Senator on-line!! Is that some strange virtual politician or something? Wouldn't really make that much of a difference really.Or What Women Want Australia? You know what I want? I want John Howard to get the fuck out of here. There were a few other strange ones as well, something about climate change and oh yeah the Australian Shooters Party - now that's a goer.

You know, it is also good to see that One Nation is still kicking about - the racist bell ends, because for a moment there I thought that we only had the Liberal party to push the anti-Aboriginal, anti-homosexual anti-bloody-everything policies in our Government.

You know what they say about Little Johnny Tennis Shoes - he's only patting you on the back to find the best place to stab you.

Makes me smile

Planes, Trains and Friggin Automobiles

It has been a week since my parents left and only now have I finally felt it possible to write about their stay with us. Ok, so you may think that I am being overly dramatic, that I should just suck it in, deal with it and just get on with life. However, in all honesty saying goodbye to my parents at the airport was not only the strangest experience ever for me, it was really difficult. I am a family person, I love my family and they annoy the hell out of me at the same time, but I would never be with out them so saying goodbye to them was extremely hard for me. Anyhoo, I think I can now type without getting all teary, but I am not 100% sure this is really the case.

I was so nervous before they arrived; I constantly thought that I would disappoint them somehow. I thought that when they got here they would finally see what a flim flam I am, how little I have actually achieved in my life and I was worried they would see the desperation in my eyes. Maybe they did, but they never said anything to me. Not in an overt way anyway, but I am sure they did, I have always found it hard to hide my real emotions.

At Glasgow airport we were the only 4 people in the entire airport who ran to each other, embraced and cried tears of joy. I suppose everyone thought we were complete whack jobs, or they just thought “oh another bunch of ethnics” I can’t help it, I cry – deal with it! I have never had such an emotional holiday, 3 weeks of discovery is what I would call it. For 2 of those weeks we were in Italy and you can tell that you have been on a woggy, dago, garlic munching family holiday when 80% of your photos consist of images like this …. (ok all anonymity is going to go out the window here … oh well it was good while it lasted I suppose)

It isn’t a holiday it is a war of attrition I swear to God. If you come back from one of these holidays and haven’t put on weight then I want to know your secret. I don’t think I have eaten so much food in my entire life and the worst of it is that it tastes so damn good that you can’t help yourself. I felt like that character out of the Monty Python movie The Meaning of Life “oh come on it is only waver thin”. At one stage I thought I seriously was going to die from over eating, honestly.

I don’t know about you, and this is a massive generalisation I know but from our experience the difference between Anglos and Italians is that when you go to an Anglo house they ask if you want a cup of tea and a biscuit and instinctively we say “no thank you” and then for the next 3 days they never ask you again. It was just a reflex people! When you go to an Italian house, they ask you if you want a coffee and food and for the next 5 times you keep saying “no thank you” until you finally give in. Because you know that if you say yes straight away you will get 20 cups of coffee and 20 million bowls of pasta shovelled down your throat.

This trip to Italy was like flippin planes, trains and automobiles as we went from the top of Italy to the bottom and back up again .

We flew into Milan, Bergamo and in two weeks we travelled to Rome, Calabria, Orte and then back to Bergamo where our flight departed from. In those two weeks I have never been so sleep deprived and over fed in my life that it was insane. We stayed with my father’s cousin in Bergamo for a couple of days, caught the Eurostar to Rome where we stayed with my father’s niece for a couple of days. We then caught the bus all the way down to Civita, my father’s village in Calabria – stayed there for a couple of days, caught the bus up to Orte and stayed one night with my uncle. The worst thing we ever did was catch the sleeper train from Orte to Bergamo because I can tell you this it is a LIE – you don’t sleep, not at all. It has to be the noisiest train I have ever caught in my life, and I have a good mind to write to the Italian railway people and tell as much. We had a 4 person cabin, the G-man and myself on the top bunks and my pa and ma on the bottom bunks and the most amazing thing was that even though the train was noisy as all hell, we could still hear my pa’s snoring over the train ! How the hell is that possible, that is some supersonic snoring capability going on there.

I must admit, it was a great experience even though I am only now catching up on sleep. My pa took me around his village, showing all the places he used to work and where he used to live. It was really interesting; all these people would come up to him and say “Mario, do you remember me? I used to work with the goats with you” and my pa would say “take your glasses off I might remember” so they would take their glasses of and then he would say “nope don’t have a clue, who are you?”. You couldn’t walk around the village without being stopped and the stares from the crazy old people wooo weeee – the G-man, my ma and I started to get fed up and when asked by the locals “who are you” we would answer “we are people who are you?”

Anyway I am prattling on now, and I don’t want this to turn into one of those boring, un-intellectual, self absorbed blogs that get hammered for lacking any literary imagination and full of mundane drivel. Oh why oh why didn’t I mention Nietzsche or Foucault in this blog? Then I might have some credibility …. Sorry just being a bit of a shit stirrer.

I would post more photos, but I am not sure 50 million photos of us sat around the table with over flowing bowls of food would be all that interesting. Anyway I have shoved them all onto my Crackbook if you’re interested.

From an emotionally drained Sakura – laters peeps!