Monday 3 December 2007

Conversations of a Boss Kind

Last week the G-man was sent up to Orkney for work. Begrudgingly the G-man packed his bags and drove 7 hours to nearly the arse end of Scotland, nearly the arse end but close enough. Having suffered from the worst bout of food poisoning only a couple of weeks ago, the G-man was not impressed at this prospect, however it seems one conversation between himself and his boss made it kind of worthwhile (to me anyway. It was hilarious, but maybe that was because I was drunk when the G-man told me what had transpired)…

Bring bring, bring bring

G-man: Boss, what can I do for you?

Boss: Oh hi G-man, umm I was just wondering? Umm, where are you because I was worried that I haven’t seen you around and thought you might be ill again.

G-man: perplexed Ummm I’m in Ornkey Boss? You know, you sent me here?

Boss: Oh right! Oh good that’s great.

G-man: Riiiight

Long pause

Boss: So you’re going to make it back for Saturday right because you don’t want to miss York’s and Jordy’s party.

G-man: Noooo, I’ll be back

Boss: Good, that’s great.

G-man: Riiiight

Boss: So, this 25th wedding anniversary thing, umm what’s that mean?

G-man: What?

Boss: Well what are you meant to get them as a present, like a mixer or microwave or something?

G-man: It’s a silver wedding anniversary so you’re meant to get them something silver but I don’t think it really matters they’re just having a party. I don’t think they’re gonna need a mixer, I think they might already have that.

Boss: Oh right. Ok, great.

Long pause

Boss: So …. G-man what are you wearing?

G-man: stunned silence What? Now? Umm I don’t think that’s appropriate do you?

Boss: stunned silence What? Silence again No! I mean for Saturday night are you wearing a suit?

Now if that had of been me, I would have said something like this…

Right now? Well I’m glad you asked. I’m wearing suspenders and a bustier, and a whip but you don’t count that as clothing and I am not sure about the lard that is smeared all over my body.

G-man: You know me Boss, I didn’t even wear a tie to my own wedding so a suit is out of the question.

Boss: Oh good ! Ok well I’ll see you later.

G-man: Right, bye.


5 comments:

eleanor bloom said...

Oh he never would have fallen for the suspenders thing. Surely it's too bloody cold up there! Mind you, maybe you're right... the lard would be rather insulating.
Plus it sounds like this guy would fall for anything!
How bizarre! And highly amusing!

Danielle said...

That would have been classic if he came out with the suspenders comment... What is more weird is why a guy is asking another guy what to wear, that just astounded me.

Sakura said...

Eleanor - I told the G-man he should've taken the piss out of his boss more, I guess he was just stunned at the time.

theianandanexpidition - That is what I thought! What kind of guy asks another guy what to wear at a function. Apparently he is a bit feminine, not that there is anything wrong with that of course.

phishez said...

Men are so silly.

redcap said...

Ba ha ha! Only a boy would think of it like that. If a female boss said to a female employee, in the context of partay discussion, "What are you wearing", she would immediately have got it. (a) Do we think Boss man might be walking the other side of the street? (b) I love da G-man. He and Bloke share more than just a first name. When are you guys coming homessss already?