All talk

I’m one of these people who is well, let’s just say all talk and no action and by that I don’t mean in the sack, because beautiful peoples I am a TIGERRRRRRRRRRRR babies and don’t you forget it, whips, hand cuffs, licky offy stuff … .. ahem where was I? Oh yeah all talk, and no action like “just you wait until I see so and so I am going to give them one hell of a talking down to” or “if he/she ever looks at me again I will personally fork their eyes out” and then actually not do a thing when I see said person except feel the ball of rage build up in my stomach and then explode in the privacy of my own or my husband’s company, however there have been one or two exceptions to that rule.

Anyways, yesterday I was happily sitting in my office, busy at work (reading blogs, watching anime, singing to the radio) when I noticed one of the guys who works on the same site as me with his brand new boxer puppy dog walk past. He stopped, dead in front of my window. A tad bit disconcerting as we awkwardly stared at each other and he waited for his dog that was now outside my window. I presumed sniffing around and thought nothing of it.

Now I really should have prefaced this story with an explanation about the guy on the site with the boxer dog. He is well, how do I put this, umm …. …. Scary. Apparently he is what is commonly called around here a “gadgy” which means a gypsy, or someone who lives in a static caravan. Now for the past 2 and half years I didn’t realise that this term was actually an insult, I just thought it meant someone who worked with gadgets – like this person does; thank GOD I never used it to his face because he probably would have hit me. So because of his chosen life style, he isn’t let’s say the cleanest person in the world, I’ve been in a local pub and noticed that his smell enters through the doors before he does ! Anyway I don’t really want to get into a long and painful diatribe about his personal hygiene habits because frankly he has none.

So, finally the dog runs off and Mr Stinky leaves me in peace. A couple of hours later the G-man drops by my office, to check on emails and stuff. I go out to meet him at his car and as I do so I notice a massive, hot, steaming dog turd outside my friggin window !! Bloody brilliant, how nice is that ? So off I go:

“Oh fucking hell, will you look at that? For fuck’s sake how hard is it to clean up after your dog. I fucking hate that. I tell you what next time I see him I am going to give him what for, and tell him to clean up after his fucking dog. I mean honestly” By the end of this little episode I had turned around and who should be standing at the door of the shed right near my office yep that’s right Mr Stinky and his massive shit making machine of a dog. Ohhhhh fuck.

I quickly hurried the G-man into my office, trying not to show any sign of emotion on my face, whilst my stomach is in knots and quickly and quietly locked the office door.

See what I mean what a pussy, I should have confronted him then and there, but quite frankly he scares me. Let’s just hope I don’t have to bump into him anytime soon, because I am sure as hell he heard me banging on and on about his dog.